Staying out of the drama of my mind

by heartEdu

Ever since I started blogging, I stopped meditating. I also haven’t been to yoga in three weeks. I think this has been the longest hiatus in 4 years. I am paying for it. Without yoga and meditation, I have been scatterbrained, and anxious…maybe even a little bit angry. My shoulders have started to curve forward and I am closing my heart and muting my voice from the world. My hips/quads/hammies/IT band are tight, storing anger and aggression. I’ve caught myself holding my breath.

Yes, I’ve been running, and I’ve been hiking…but these activities actually make me more aggressive and assertive. These characteristics aren’t negative, but I do need a balance to know that there is a time and place for all emotions.

I am now back at building up my foundation and am a ways away from forearm stand, hand stand, bird of paradise and other poses that make me feel exalted.

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This was last year. I don’t even know what this might feel like now.

I managed the peel myself off the couch today and went to not one yoga class, but two: 1) Vinyasa Flow, and 2) Yin for a whopping 2.5 hours of yoga. I kept slipping into a meditative state during the two classes. Although my muscles were tight, my body was hungry for the stretches. I did have some anger bubble up in Yin class, but I was observing the feeling and not getting myself worked up about it. Basically, I did not interact with the feeling and stayed out of its drama. The mind played interesting tricks on me but it eventually simmered down. I guess it was hungry for meditation.

While in corpse pose after the Yin practice, I felt a weird anxious energy in my palms and second chakra. It went away a few minutes later. Maybe I unlocked something.

I need more yoga. My mind and body are starving.

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